I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
