: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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