It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
