On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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