This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
