So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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