I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
