I accidentally burped into my bong.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
