You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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