i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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