i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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