Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
