This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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