Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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