Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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