Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
