yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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