OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
