Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
