meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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