gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
