I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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