Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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