So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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