how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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