Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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