that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
