Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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