Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
