Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
