Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
