i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize