but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
vagina is talking i cant
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize