respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
