I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize