You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
