The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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