i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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