hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
