how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
