He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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