i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
