Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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