I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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