After last night, I could never be a politician.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
