): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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