Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
