just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My vagina just clenched in fear
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