I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
