just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
