I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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