oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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