I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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