This girl is more easily done than said...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize