If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
