he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
