I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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