new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
