Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
