i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
