If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
