I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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