Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She's the barista slut.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
