I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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