I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
