Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
