I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
