in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
