Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
