i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
